E-mail of the week

lol, chariotofmanliness... that's almost funny

For those that don't know about history .... here is a condensed version:

Humans originally existed as members of small bands of nomadic hunters/gatherers. They lived on deer in the mountains during the summer and would go to the coast and live on fish and lobster in the winter.

The two most important events in all of history were the invention of beer and the invention of the wheel. The wheel was invented to get man to the beer. These were the foundations of modern civilization and together were the catalyst for the splitting of humanity into two distinct subgroups:

1. Liberals, and
2. Conservatives.

Once beer was discovered, it required grain and that was the beginning of agriculture. Neither the glass bottle nor aluminum can were invented yet, so while our early humans were sitting around waiting for them to be invented, they just stayed close to the brewery. That's how villages were formed.

Some men spent their days tracking and killing animals to B-B-Q at night while they were drinking beer. This was the beginning of what is known as the Conservative movement.

Other men who were weaker and less skilled at hunting learned to live off the conservatives by showing up for the nightly B-B-Q's and doing the sewing, fetching, and hair dressing This was the beginning of the Liberal movement.

Some of these liberal men eventually evolved into women. The rest became known as girlie-men. Some noteworthy liberal achievements include the domestication of cats, the invention of group therapy, group hugs, and the concept of Democratic voting to decide how to divide the meat and beer that conservatives provided.

Over the years conservatives came to be symbolized by the largest, most powerful land animal on earth, the elephant. Liberals are symbolized by the ***

Modern liberals like imported beer (with lime added), but most prefer white wine or imported bottled water. They eat raw fish but like their beef well done. Sushi, tofu, and French food are standard liberal fare. Another interesting evolutionary side note: most of their women have higher testosterone levels than their men. Most social workers, personal injury attorneys, journalists, dreamers in  Hollywood  and group therapists are liberals. Liberals invented the designated hitter rule because it wasn't fair to make the pitcher also bat.

Conservatives drink domestic beer, mostly Miller or Bud. They eat red meat and still provide for their women. Conservatives are big-game hunters, rodeo cowboys, lumberjacks, construction workers, firemen, fisherman, medical doctors, police officers, corporate executives, athletes, members of the military, airline pilots and generally anyone who works productively. Conservatives who own companies hire other conservatives who want to work for a living.

Liberals produce little or nothing. They like to govern the producers and decide what to do with the production. Liberals believe Europeans are more enlightened than Americans. That is why most of the liberals remained in Europe when conservatives were coming to  America. They crept in after the Wild West was tamed and created a business of trying to get more for nothing.

Here ends today's lesson in world history:

It should be noted that a Liberal may have a momentary urge to angrily respond to the above before forwarding it.

A Conservative will simply laugh and be so convinced of the absolute truth of this history that it will be forwarded immediately to other true believers and to more liberals just to tick them off.

And there you have it.  
****************************************
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If that story was given to me in high school, I might have passed with a better grade.  
I am awesome at breaking stuff....fixing it is another story!

i got a chuckle out of it  
I work to support my Jeep

LETTER
> > FROM THE BOSS.....
> >
> > As the CEO of this organization, I have resigned myself to the fact that Barrack Obama is our President and that our taxes and government fees will increase in a BIG way.

> To compensate for these increases, our prices would have
> to increase by about 10%.
> >
> > But since we cannot increase our prices right now due
> to the dismal state of the economy, we will have to lay
> off six of our employees instead. This has really been
> bothering me, since I believe we are family here and I didn't know
> how to choose who would have to go.
> >
> > So, this is what I did. I walked through our parking
> lot and found six 'Obama' bumper stickers on our
> > employees' cars and have decided these folks will be
> the ones to let go. I can't think of a more fair way to
> > approach this problem. They voted for change, I gave it to them.
> >
> > I will see the rest of you at the annual company
> > picnic.  
****************************************
see me at.. robsoffroad.com



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roflmao thats hilarious just copied and sent to everyone i know who voted for him all three  
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not only the founder of the white trash mafia im also a member

94 yj over the limit and out of control

Texas  Sex

     The Rodeo Position

Two Texans were out on the range talking about their favorite sex positions.

One said, "think I enjoy the rodeo position the best."

"I don't think I have ever heard of that one," said the other cowboy. "What is it ?"

"Well, it's where you get your wife down on all fours and you mount her from behind. Then you reach around and cup each one of her breasts in your hands and whisper in her ear, 'Boy, these feel just like your sister's. '

Then you try and stay on for 8 seconds."  
****************************************
see me at.. robsoffroad.com



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LMAO!!!! yeah, you better hope she doesn't buck you off and hog tie you. i liked the obama one too.....i gotta copy that one  
I work to support my Jeep

Nothing like riding rodeo style. hehehe Ya just got to hold on for 8 seconds for a full ride!!  

This is a very REAL and growing problem in every state.



 Joe Legal vs. Joe Illegal



Here is a detailed example of why hiring illegal aliens is not economically productive for any state at any time.



You have 2 families... "Joe Legal" and "Joe Illegal."  



Each family has 2 parents and 2 children.



"Joe Legal" works in construction , has a Social Security Number , and makes $25.00 per hour with payroll taxes deducted.



"Joe Illegal" also works in construction , has "NO" Social Security Number , and gets paid $15.00 cash "under the table."



Joe Legal:  $25.00 per hour x 40 hours $1000.00 per week , $52 , 000 per year.  Now take 30% away for state and federal tax and Joe Legal now has $31 , 231.00



Joe Illegal:  $15.00 per hour x 40 hours $600.00 per week , $31 , 200.00 per year.  Joe Illegal pays no taxes so Joe Illegal now has $31 , 200.00



Joe Legal pays Medical and Dental Insurance with limited coverage.  $1000.00 per month , $12 , 000.00 per year.  Joe Legal now has $19 , 231.00



Joe Illegal has full Medical and Dental coverage through the state and local clinics at no personal cost per year , so Joe Illegal still has $31 , 200.00.  If Joe Illegal can t get a convenient appointment at the doctor’s office , he and his Illegal family just use the local Emergency Rooms as their primary care providers since they are not going to pay anyway.



Joe Legal makes too much money and is not eligible for Food Stamps or welfare.  Joe Legal pays for food , $1 , 000.00 per month , $12 , 000.00 per year , which leaves Joe Legal with $7 , 231.00



Joe Illegal has no documented income and is therefore eligible for Food Stamps and Welfare.  Joe Illegal still has $31 , 200.00



Joe Legal pays rent of $1 , 000.00 per month , $12 , 000.00 per year..  Joe Legal is now in the hole by $4 , 769.00



Joe Illegal receives a $500 per month Federal rent subsidy so he only pays $500.00 per month out-of-pocket towards his rent , $6 , 000.00 per year.  This leaves Joe Illegal with a balance of $25 , 200.00 in illegally obtained and untaxed cash.



Joe Legal has to work overtime on Saturdays or get a part time job after work just to make ends meet.



Joe Illegal has plenty of cash on hand and has his nights and weekends off to enjoy with his illegal family and friends.



Joe Legal's and Joe Illegal's children both attend the same school.  Joe Legal pays for his children's book rental , lunches , and other fees while Joe Illegal's children get a government sponsored lunch and other fees are subsidized or completely waived.



Joe Illegal's children have an after school ESL program.



Joe Legal's children go home.



Joe Legal and Joe Illegal both enjoy the same Police , Fire , and other Government Services.  Joe Legal paid for these services while Joe Illegal did not pay anything.



THIS IS NOT A POLITICAL PARTY ISSUE.  IT IS A COMMON SENSE ISSUE.



Do not vote for or support any politician who supports illegal aliens.

 

Make it a point to know how your representatives vote , both State and Federal.



The time is long overdue to take a stand for America and Americans!  
****************************************
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AMEN to that, and that also includes the ocupent of the White House  
I work to support my Jeep

I second the AMEN to this one.  Living down here in Texas we see that ALOT here and it infuriates me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  

On a lighter note here's an email I came across today

An Idea Whose Time Has Come:
 

Congress today announced that the office of President of the United States of America will be outsourced to India as of September 1, 2009.

 

The move is being made in order to save the President's $500,000 yearly salary, and also a record $750 billion in deficit expenditures and related overhead that his office has incurred during the last 3 months.

 

It is anticipated that $7 trillion can be saved to the end of the President's term. "We believe this is a wise financial move. The cost savings are huge," stated Congressman Thomas Reynolds (R-WA). "We cannot remain competitive on the world stage with the current level of cash outlay," Reynolds noted.

 

Obama was informed by email this morning of his termination. Preparations for the job move have been underway for some time.

 

Gurvinder Singh, a tele-technician for Indus Teleservices, Mumbai India , will assume the office of President as of September 1, 2009. Mr. Singh was born in the United States while his Indian parents were vacationing at Niagara Falls , NY . Thus making him eligible for the position.  He will receive a salary of $320 (USD) a month, but no health coverage or other benefits.

 

It is believed that Mr. Singh will be able to handle his job responsibilities without a support staff. Due to the time difference between the US and India , he will be working primarily at night. "Working nights will allow me to keep my day job at the Dell Computer call center," stated Mr.. Singh in an exclusive interview.

 

"I am excited about this position. I always hoped I would be President." A Congressional spokesperson noted that while Mr. Singh may not be fully aware of all the issues involved in the office of President, this should not be a problem as Obama had never been familiar with the issues either.

 

Mr. Singh will rely upon a script tree that will enable him to respond effectively to most topics of concern. Using these canned responses, he can address common concerns without having to understand the underlying issue at all. "We know these scripting tools work," stated the spokesperson.

 

"Obama has used them successfully for years, with the result that some people actually thought he knew what he was talking about."

 

Obama will receive health coverage, expenses, and salary until his final day of employment. Following a two-week waiting period, he will be eligible for $140 a week unemployment for 26 weeks. Unfortunately he will not be eligible for Medicaid, as his unemployment benefits will exceed the allowed limit.

 

Obama has been provided with the outplacement services of Manpower, Inc. to help him write a resume and prepare for his upcoming job transition. According to Manpower, Obama may have difficulties in securing a new position due to a lack of any successful work experience during his lifetime.

 

A greeter position at Wal-Mart was suggested due to Obama's extensive experience at shaking hands, as well as his special smile.  

LMAO !!!!! OH IF THAT WOULD HAPPEN........LOL  
I work to support my Jeep

Very funny! Thanks for the post man. Chevy Performance Chips / Mustang Shocks  

John Smith  started the day early having set his  alarm  clock  
 


 


(MADE  IN JAPAN ) for   6 am.
 


 


While his  coffeepot  


(MADE  IN CHINA )  


was  perking, he shaved with his


electric  razor  


(MADE  IN HONG KONG )  


He  put on a


dress  shirt


(MADE  IN SRI LANKA ),  




designer  jeans


(MADE  IN SINGAPORE )  


and  


tennis  shoes


(MADE IN  KOREA)  


After  cooking his breakfast in his new


electric  skillet  


(MADE  IN INDIA )


he  sat down with his


calculator  


(MADE  IN MEXICO )


to see how  much he could spend today. After setting his  


watch  


(MADE  IN TAIWAN )  


to the  radio


(MADE IN   INDIA )


he got in  his car  


(MADE  IN GERMANY )


filled it  with GAS  


(from   Saudi Arabia )


and  continued his search


for a good  paying AMERICAN JOB.


At the end  of yet another discouraging  


and  fruitless  day  


checking  his


Computer  


(made  in MALAYSIA ),  


John  decided to relax for a while.  


He put on  his sandals  


(MADE  IN BRAZIL ),  


poured  himself a glass of


wine  


(MADE  IN FRANCE )


and turned  on his  


TV  


(MADE  IN INDONESIA ),  


and then  wondered why he can't


find a good paying job  


in  AMERICA  


AND  NOW HE'S HOPING HE CAN GET HELP FROM A  PRESIDENT  


MADE  IN KENYA  
****************************************
see me at.. robsoffroad.com



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